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The No. 1 reason is because they’re attracted to their partner, followed by their seeking of physical gratification. Lower down on the list, the reasons were connected to love or emotional bonding. This sort of knocks down the stereotype that men have sex for pleasure while women have sex for love. Personally, for me–in my 17 years treating women who have sexual problems–it’s reassuring to see that most of the women who participated in our survey are having sex for the pure physical pleasure of it.

Who are the women who participated in your survey? Is it possible those who take the time to fill out an online survey are more likely to seek out sex?

You bring up a good point. There’s a natural selection bias in any sex research in that those who are more sexually liberal are more likely to take part in a study. We hope we eliminated that by keeping the answers confidential so people would be as honest as possible, but it’s still hard to know if this is a representative sample. We did get a wide range of ages of women responding and had respondents from several other countries besides the U.S.

Did any of the motivations for sex surprise you?

While we expected a wide range of reasons, some specific stories really did surprise me. Many women said they had sex to bring them closer to God. And revenge sex was a big theme–getting back at partners who weren’t faithful by having sex with someone else. Competition sex was also surprising: A bunch of friends go to a bar and see who can get the guy to have sex with them. Many young women wrote about having sex simply to get another notch on their belt, which we typically think of as something men do. Some women simply wanted to get rid of their virginity. Still other women engaged in “sympathy sex” because they felt sorry for their mate for any number of reasons, like he was too unattractive to get any dates. Women also admitted to having sex as an economic exchange to land a job or promotion or to get money or drugs. Some of the reasons made me laugh, and others were very sad.

Did women ever express regrets for acting on their impulses, like having a one-night stand?

Some did, while others didn’t. For instance, one woman who had sex out of loneliness said a one-night stand helped her feel better and more connected afterward. Another woman, though, said it made her feel even lonelier. It’s hard to say what drives this remorse; it’s probably a complex mix of religious attitudes and values and what a woman deems to be appropriate behavior. Self-esteem also plays a role in the choices she makes and how she feels afterward.

Did you see any differences between men and women?

Yes. Based on our previous research and this new study, we see that men are still more likely to engage in uncommitted sex, like one-night stands, but that this gender gap has narrowed dramatically since the 1950s, when these [kind of] surveys were first conducted by [Alfred] Kinsey. More women still make the connection between love and sex. And overall, men are definitely more willing to have sex because of physical attraction, while women place less emphasis on physical attraction and more on a man’s scent, personality, and breadwinning abilities.

Were there reasons women said they didn’t have sex?

We didn’t really explore that; it’s really a separate study. The number of reasons is so vast, from not having a willing partner to having psychological or medical problems.

Original Article by: Deborah Kotz
http://news.yahoo.com/s/usnews/20091008/ts_usnews/whydowomenhavesex

Of course giving good cunnilingus is easier said than done! That’s why we’ve come up with some tips to help you improve your skill in this area.

Photo by Flickr User: ShowerTokens

1. Place your head right between her thighs. It should be positioned slightly below so that you can stroke your tongue upward against the shaft of her clitoris. This position also allows you to stick your tongue inside of her vagina.

2. Ask for feedback. Every woman is different when it comes to how they prefer their oral sex. So you must really learn from what your woman likes and doesn’t like. Tell her that you want to please her and that you need her to let you know what she likes and doesn’t like.

3. Change up your strokes. You shouldn’t continue on one particular stroke for too long unless she tells you to keep doing it.

4. The clitoris is the most important but not the only thing you should be concerned with. Of course again this depends on the woman. Be sure to respond to feedback. Some women may want you to focus almost entirely on the clitoris, others may want you to gradually work your way there and to not work it too hard.

5. Covering her clitoris with your mouth and sucking it (gently) into your mouth can be a good way to push her over the edge into an orgasm. Do not start off like this though, work your way up to it.

Breast respect scores huge points with women, so whether you are a moderate fan or a die hard addict it’s time to learn how to better respect the breast.

Few men go through life without alarming women with strange attitudes or actions towards their breasts. A woman’s breasts hold unbelievable power. There are both physically and symbolically significant to both sexes, and therefore must be treated appropriately.

Women hold different impressions of their own mammories – some are too small, too large, too droopy, uneven… but in the end the same rules apply to men the world over when it comes to every type, size and shape of breast – treat it with respect. So how do you go about respecting the breast while having a mind blowing sexual encounter with a woman?

There are a few guidelines to follow that will help you to drive a woman mad with pleasure at the same time as you show her most prestigious body part the respect that it deserves.

First of all you must remember that breasts are not a child’s play toy. They are, however, very much a play toy for adults. As such, breasts must be played with in a fun, stimulating and sensual adult manner. They are not, on the other hand, to be treated as your long lost preschool toy.

For example, as much as she might laugh as you refer to them as honkers – there is no need to go around “honking” them on a daily basis. They are not attached to the handlebars of your bike or the steering wheel of your car. You are a grown man, so only if you really must – honk once and end it.

Tuning nipples as if there are knobs of your car radio will also grow old very quickly with women, so tune the nipple-knob dial sparingly if you hope to spend any more time with her.

It is also very important to pay attention to your pressure and touch when it comes to breast respect. Women’s breasts feel differently at different times of the month, depending on hormones and cycles.

While one girl might love it when you squeeze her breasts together with great pressure, the next one might find it mildly painful or uncomfortable.

Alternately, the same woman might love soft biting and pinching the majority of the time, the cringe at it if her breasts are in a more sensitive condition around “that” time of the month.

Since you can never really be sure as to what a woman’s preference for pressure and touch will be at any given time, it is always a good idea to start with light pressure and a soft touch. Once you can sense her pleasure and enjoyment increase the weight of your touch.

If you are lucky, she will want you to build up to the satisfying squeezing that will make your sexual encounter all the more enjoyable for you both.

When if comes to breast respect, you must always remember that those lovely orbs are always to be treated as a compliment not a detriment to your encounter. Whether they are small or large, be sensitive to them at all times.

A woman’s breasts are different than a man’s in that they can be used in so many different ways. By enjoying them to their fullest advantage, you are paying respect to the breasts and their owner.

For example, if you are party to a medium or large sized breast, you might engage with them “Spanish” style, where you have her squeeze them together and create a pleasurable bosom tunnel for your manhood. To make it even more enjoyable, you might introduce lubricant into the encounter.

You are guaranteed to enjoy this but remember to gauge her interest and enjoyment as well. If she is a smaller sized woman, encourage her to go on top. As she leans over they will form cleavage that will be much more enjoyable than when she is on her back.

So what if you have said and done all the right things, but you sense that she is just not into enjoying her breasts as much as you are. Chances are this disinterest stems from one of two things. The first may be insecurity. Whether she thinks they are too small or large, the only thing you can do to reassure her is to tell her that they are fabulous, and just the right size.

The other reason she might be hesitant about making the most of her fun-bags, is because she has not done so before. If she is used to being with men who don’t respect the breast and who are simply obsessed with booty, then she is likely inexperienced with getting her breasts heavily involved in the sexual encounter.

Take it slow and keep it sensual, and she will likely grow into the pleasure of her own breasts.

On a more general note, remember to pay breasts their due respect in all environments – both inside and outside the bedroom. Maybe the secretary in your office has a great set of hooters.

Sure you can pass a glance at them every so often, but do not stare at them or look at them when you are talking to her… this will quickly get you labeled the office perv. If you must take a glance, compliment her sweater and move on! When it comes to meeting new people the same rule applies.

Say you are hitting on a woman at the bar with the most scrumptious breasts that you have ever seen. Tell her that she has a beautiful body and take the conversation elsewhere. If she thinks that you are only interested in her breasts (which may very well be the case), she will likely shut you down.

Treat those great hooters as part of a great package and you will win her over (and hopefully have her over…) in no time.

A woman’s breasts are the closest thing to her heart so respect them at all times. The respect will be returned to you in the finest way known to man. Anybody for a Spanish lessons tonight…?

The goal of the Yoni massage is not orgasm. Orgasm is often a pleasant and welcome side effect. The goal is simply to pleasure and massage the Yoni/vagina. From this perspective both receiver and giver can relax, and not have to worry about achieving something. When orgasm does occur it is usually more expanded, more intense and more satisfying. Orgasm is allowed to happen or not happen.
It is also helpful for the giver to not expect anything in return. Just allow the receiver to enjoy the massage and to relax into herself afterwards. Of course, other sexual activity may follow but it should be entirely the receiver’s choice. This perspective will build greater intimacy and trust, and will greatly expand your sexual horizons.

PREPARATION
Bathing is always helpful as it relaxes both the receiver and giver. A quiet space is desirable with pleasing music, candles, pillows, etc., or whatever makes the participants relax and feel safe. Allow yourself enough time and do not hurry through the process.
Go to the bathroom before beginning the massage. The best results will occur when the bowels and bladder are empty and you will avoid the unnecessary experience of interrupting the massage to go to the bathroom.

Connect with your partner by hugging, holding, eye gazing (looking into each other’s eyes for an extended time), or whatever brings you to a place of safety and relaxation.

PROCEDURE
Have the receiver lie on her back with pillows under her head so she can look down at her genitals and up at her partner (giver). Place a pillow, covered with a towel, under her hips. Her legs are to be spread apart with the knees slightly bent (pillows or cushions under the knees will also help) and her genitals clearly exposed for the massage.
The giver sits cross-legged between the receivers’ legs. The giver may wish to sit on a pillow or cushion. This position allows full access to the Yoni and other parts of the body.
Before contacting the body, begin with deep, relaxed breathing. Both giver and receiver should remember to keep breathing deeply, slowly and with relaxation during the entire process. The giver will gently remind the receiver to start breathing again if the receiver stops or takes shallower breaths. Deep breathing, not hyperventilating, is very important here.

Gently massage the legs, abdomen, thighs, breasts, etc., to get the receiver to relax and for the giver to prepare for touching the Yoni.

Pour a small quantity of a high-quality oil or lubricant on the mound of the Yoni. Pour just enough so that it drips down the outer lips and covers the outside of the Yoni. (Several excellent sexual lubricants are available for this. Many lingerie shops, sex toy shops, sex magazines, etc., offer these safe lubricants.)

CAVEAT – Do not mix oil-based products with latex.

Begin gently massaging the mound and outer lips of the Yoni. Spend some time here and do not rush. Relax and enjoy giving the massage. Gently squeeze the outer lip between the thumb and index finger, and slide up and down the entire length of each lip. Do the same thing to the inner lips of the Yoni/vagina. Take your time.

The receiver can massage her own breasts or may just relax and continue breathing deeply. It is helpful for giver and receiver to look into each other’s eyes as much as possible. The receiver can tell the giver if the pressure, speed, depth, etc., needs to be increased or decreased. Limit your speaking and focus on the pleasurable sensations. (It is my experience that too much talking gets one out of their feelings and diminishes the effects.)

Gently stroke the clitoris with clockwise and counter-clockwise circles. Gently squeeze it between thumb and index fingers. Do this as a massage and not to get the receiver off. The receiver will undoubtedly become very aroused but continue to encourage her to just relax and breathe.

Slowly and with great care, insert the middle finger of your right hand into the Yoni (there is a reason for using the right hand as opposed to the left. It has to do with polarity in Tantra). Very gently explore and massage the inside of the Yoni/ vagina with this finger. Take your time, be gentle, and feel up, down and sideways. Vary the depth, speed and pressure. Remember, this is a massage and you’re nurturing and relaxing the Yoni.
With your palm facing up, and the middle finger inside the Yoni, move the middle finger in a “come here” gesture or crook back towards the palm. You will contact a spongy area of tissue just under the pubic bone, behind the clitoris. This is the G-spot or in Tantra, the sacred spot (there are many excellent books that go into detail about this area). Your partner may feel as if they have to urinate or it may be painful or pleasurable. Again vary the pressure, speed and pattern of movement. You can move side to side, back and forth, or in circles with your middle finger. You can also insert the finger that’s between your middle finger and pinkie. Check with your partner first before sticking two fingers into them. Most women should have no problem and will enjoy the increased stimulation from two fingers. Take your time and be very gentle. You may use the thumb of the right hand to stimulate the clitoris as well.

An option to try if the receiver wants it is to insert the pinkie of the right hand into her anus. Ask her first and do not insert your pinkie into her Yoni/vagina after it has been in her anus. Use lubrication and be very gentle.

(In Tantra, it is said that when your pinkie is in her anus, the next finger and middle finger in her Yoni/vagina, and your thumb on her clitoris, “You are holding one of the mysteries of the universe in your hand.”)

So, what is your left hand doing all this time? You can use it to massage the breasts, abdomen, or clitoris. If you massage the clitoris it’s usually best to use your thumb in an up down motion, with the rest of your hand resting on and massaging the mound. The dual stimulation of right and left hands will provide much pleasure for the receiver. I do not recommend using your left hand to touch your own genitals because it may take your focus off the receiver. Remember, this massage is for her pleasure and much of the benefit comes from not only the physical stimulation but the intent as well.

Continue massaging, trying different speeds, pressures and motions. Keep breathing and looking into each other’s eyes. She may have powerful emotions come up and may cry. Just keep breathing and be gentle. Many women have been sexually abused and need to be healed. A giving, loving and patient partner can be of great value to her.
If she has an orgasm, keep her breathing, and continue massaging if she wants. More orgasms may occur, each gaining in intensity. In Tantra this is called “riding the wave.” Many women can learn how to be multi-orgasmic with the Yoni Massage and a very patient partner.

Keep massaging until she tells you to stop. Very slowly, gently, and with respect, remove your hands. Allow her to just lay there and enjoy the afterglow of the Yoni massage. Cuddling or holding is very soothing as well. As you learn to master the Yoni Massage your sex life will be greatly enriched and you will learn a great deal about feminine sexuality.

• Kama Sutra Videos: Introduction
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The First Posture
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Third Posture
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Fourth Posture
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Fifth Posture
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Seventh Posture
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Eighth Posture
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Eleventh Posture
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: A Mans Duty To His Partner
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: Fix Of A Nail
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: Interchange In Coition
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Tail Of The Ostrich
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Stopperage
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Seducer
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Rainbow Arch
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Race Of The Member
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Pressing Position
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Placid Embrace
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The One Who Stops At Home
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Movements Of Love
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Fitting On The Sock
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: The Clasping Position
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: Reciprocal Sight Of The Posteriors
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: Loves Fusion
  
• FHM Kama Sutra Video
  
• A Playful Kama Sutra
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: Wheelbarrow Position
  
• Amateur Kama Sutra Couple Part 1 of 4
  
• Amateur Kama Sutra Couple Part 2 of 4
  
• Amateur Kama Sutra Couple Part 3 of 4
  
• Amateur Kama Sutra Couple Part 4 of 4
  
• Kama Sutra Videos: Gripping With The Toes Sex Position
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Acrobat
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Amazon
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Arch
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Arm Chair
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bended Knee
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bent Spoon
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bridge
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Brute
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bumper Cars
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Frog Leap
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Lotus
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Missionary
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Pile Driver
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Prison Guard
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Stand And Carry
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Wheelbarrow
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Acrobat
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Amazon
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Arch
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Arm Chair
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bended Knee
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bent Spoon
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bridge
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Brute
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bumper Cars
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Frog Leap
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Lotus
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Missionary
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Pile Driver
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Prison Guard
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Stand And Carry
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Wheelbarrow
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Acrobat
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Amazon
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Arch
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Arm Chair
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bended Knee
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bent Spoon
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bridge
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Brute
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Bumper Cars
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Frog Leap
  
• Kama Sutra For Fat People: Lotus
  

1) Going straight for the naughty bits

You’ve got to be sensitive to the fact that a woman is more likely to be irritated than aroused when a man dives for her breasts and vulva after a few minutes’ perfunctory kissing. While you might get to feel the goods, you’re not going to be invited back.

2) Not knowing how to kiss sensitively

Passionate or sensitive, firm or gentle, good kissing is an art form which lubricates the wheels of sex and gets everyone in the mood for more intimacy. Learn how to kiss, and do it well. That doesn’t mean sticking your tongue in her mouth and wiggling it around like you’re trying to floss her teeth.

3) Being too rough when you touch her erogenous zones

Men like a firmer touch than women, especially when it comes to our penises. So if you touch her clitoris with as much force as you apply to your penis when you masturbate, she’s most likely to howl with pain – and then kick you out of bed. Remember: the clitoris has twice as many nerve endings as the penis, in a much smaller area. Treat it with respect. It’s the only organ in the human body that has no function other than to provide pleasure.

4) Not stroking and caressing her

A woman’s second biggest sex organ is her skin. (The first is her mind.) You can make your touch on any part of her body into a sexy caress, but you have to focus on what you’re doing and put some sexual energy into your fingers while you caress her. That means not thinking about the baseball game while you’re giving her a sensuous massage.

5) Locking onto her nipples like a suckling child

Yes, we know it’s fun for you. To her it just feels like she’s got a teething infant hanging off her breast. Lick and kiss around her whole breast before you go for the nipple, then flick your tongue gently across the nipple and around the areolae. If she likes what you’re doing, you’ll know by her moans of pleasure.

6) Biting on her earlobe because you think it’s sexy

She may not agree with you. In which case it will just be irritating for her, not a prelude to her turning into the sex goddess you thought you were summoning up.

7) Leaving a hickey on her neck like a teenage badge of honor

If you’re over sixteen, this is a no-no. If you need to know why, you’re obviously under sixteen.

Not shaving before sex

When you’re in the throes of passion, having your beard stubble brushing back and forth across her face isn’t so sexy, but at least it’ll produce a red rash she can remember you by.

9) Not washing your pits and bits before you have sex

If there’s one thing that turns women off, it’s a lover whose personal hygiene isn’t up to scratch. Even though men have a higher smell threshold than women, keeping yourself clean – especially in the more intimate corners of your anatomy (like under your foreskin) – is not just a matter of courtesy, it’s a ticket back to the bedroom.

10) Forgetting she has a sensuous body waiting to be stroked

Pretty much the same point we already made up above, but worth remembering: touch doesn’t just have to be in the bedroom, a prelude to sex. In fact, if you touch her a lot in a loving way during the day, she’ll be ready to melt into your arms by bedtime.

11) Trying to get your fingers in her underwear before she’s ready

This is the mark of a gauche teenage lover who wants to get to fourth base just so he feels more accomplished as a lover. Take your time, let things evolve naturally, and apply a little sensuous touch on the fabric covering her vulva before you dive under the elastic. The hint of what’s to come is often more erotic than diving straight in there.

12) Dropping the condom on the floor

Must we say why this isn’t the most popular move post sex? Dispose of the condom tidily in a tissue – put it in the bin rather than down the toilet, or it’s likely to float there for some time to come as a reminder of your sexual encounter.

13) Going straight for the clitoris during oral sex or masturbation

Like we said above, most women just find this irritating – and, if you press too hard, bloody uncomfortable too. Your first caresses should be on her labia, the lips of her vulva, then as she gets more aroused, you can work nearer the clitoris itself. But even when she’s aroused a soft touch along the sides of her clitoris may be more acceptable for her than any pressure on the head of her clitoris.

14) Breaking off just as she’s getting to the point where she wants you to keep going at all costs

Women often get so lost in their sexual arousal that they forget to give feedback. In reality, the fact that she’s lying there quietly may actually mean she loves what you’re doing; if so, you should feel her pressing her vulva against your mouth or fingers, or shifting like she wants more touch, rather than giving you a sense that she’d rather be out shopping.

15) Undressing her clumsily

Listen up guys: you don’t have to be able to take her bra off with one hand, behind her back, while kissing her. In fact, in my experience, it’s better if you don’t try. She probably puts it on by fastening it first and pulling it over her head anyway. Let her take off the garments you don’t understand, and whenever you do lend a helping hand, undress her gently and sensuously rather than pulling at her clothes like you’re ripping the paper off a birthday present.

16) Undressing yourself inelegantly – which includes taking your socks off after your underwear

Nothing is more comical (or pathetic) to a woman than a man in his socks and pants. Except possibly a naked man wearing socks. If you don’t understand why, just accept that it is so.

17) Expecting her to shave for you

You might like the baby smooth look around her vulva, but she’s more likely to see this as a prickly route to itchy stubble. Ask her nicely if you’d like her to go smooth. If she says “no”, accept that graciously.

18) Sticking a finger up her vagina before she’s ready, willing and able

In general, women do like to be penetrated just as much as men like to penetrate, which, considering how much men like to stick things up there, is just as well. However, she’ll only want you to do this when the time is right – i.e. when she’s aroused enough to enjoy it. If you’re giving her clitoris attention, there’ll be a point where she might like to have a finger or two inside her. If so, be gentle, and start with one finger on her G-spot. Make sure she enjoys this before you put another one up there. Two fingers on her G-spot is probably as much as she will want. And be just as firm with your touch as she finds pleasurable. If you don’t know what the G-spot is, then do some Google-ing before you get into bed.

19) Entering her without asking her first

What is it with men and these dark, wet places? Just keep in mind that she decides how far sex goes, and if she doesn’t want to enjoy intercourse then don’t press the point. This applies especially to any strategy that involves nudging your penis into position and then pressing forward without her consent, verbal or otherwise! Having said that, you don’t always need to ask “May I enter you?” though it can be a romantic and sexy thing to do if you’re looking deep into her eyes. Needless to say, that’s most likely to happen in the man on top position, which, by the way, remains everyone’s most popular position for sex.

20) Pecking away around her vagina with your penis if you can’t find the way in

This is, by all accounts, many women’s least desired sexual moment. If for any reason you can’t get in, don’t pretend you’re in control and keep trying. Simply ask her to guide you in with her hand. That way you’ll save a lot of embarrassment, not to mention time.

20) Pumping away without regard for her pleasure

When you’ve achieved your most desired objective, and your penis is inside her, you’ll want to show a certain consideration for her pleasure. She may want hard and fast thrusting, but it’s best to start slow and shallow. While you’re making love, she’ll most appreciate your efforts if you’re masculine and strong – which is to say, if you act like you know what you’re doing, you’re considerate and gentle at first, and work up to firm and strong thrusts if she likes them.

21) Expecting her to make love bottom up

Yes, we all enjoy rear entry. But she may be more self-conscious of her butt, she may feel like a sex object, and she may not like the rather impersonal nature of this position. If you really want to do it, and you explain to her why you like it so much (i.e. “It’s incredibly exciting to see your gorgeous bottom as we make love”, rather than “I get so turned on fucking from behind”) she’ll probably co-operate from time to time, even if it’s only on your birthday and hers.

22) Thrusting too hard

If you happen to be well-endowed, or she has a short vagina, and you thrust too hard, you may end up banging her cervix. This can make her shriek, though sadly not with sexual pleasure.

22) Coming before she’s got excited or begun to enjoy sex

There aren’t many men who can last long enough to really satisfy a woman who enjoys vaginal intercourse and G-spot stimulation. If you can’t be bothered learning how to be a long lasting lover, then at least have the decency to keep going for a few minutes so she gets some pleasure. This isn’t hard, and there are plenty of ways you can learn to extend intercourse and not come so quickly. Do some research on Google for “end premature ejaculation”. See also number 26.

23) Not coming at all – or losing your erection when you put the condom on

If you’re one of that rarer breed of men who has trouble coming during intercourse, may we respectfully suggest you see a sexual therapist? You can then deal with this problem, learn to come more quickly, and avoid giving her a numb vagina and an intimate knowledge of the exact shade of color you painted your bedroom ceiling. If you’re one of the many men who lose their erection when the condom comes out of its foil wrapper and onto the head of your penis, it’s back to Google for a search on, surprisingly enough, “losing erection when putting on a condom”.

24) Asking her how it was for her

This is not the mark of a confident lover, so if you really want some feedback, phrase it thus: “Did you prefer it when I did X or Y?”

25) Not going down on her when she wants oral pleasure

Since oral sex on a woman is so pleasurable for most men, this seems unlikely. But if it’s a question of the smell or taste being a bit much for you, try taking a shower or bath together before sex. If you just want her to fellate you and you simply can’t be bothered to reciprocate with cunnilingus, then reading these tips isn’t going to help you much anyway.

26) Failing to give her pleasure if you come quickly

Remember the motto: “Women come first!” As a man, you’re probably going to lose interest in sex once you’ve ejaculated – at least for a while. In which case, make sure she comes through oral sex or masturbation before you enter her. That way, she gets her pleasure and so do you. (With the added bonus that it doesn’t matter so much if you shoot quite quickly.) Just to enter her, thrust a few times, come, roll over and forget about her is the mark of a boorish lover, and you wouldn’t want to be one of those, now would you?

27) Trying to force her head towards your cock

Let’s face it: she’s either willing to give your oral sex or she’s not. Trying to persuade her to get her lips around your glans by edging her head towards your groin is a bit crass, to say the least. If she doesn’t seem to be heading that way as things hot up, just ask her: “There’s something you could do that’d give me so much pleasure…..”

28) Trying to force her head further down on her cock when she’s giving you oral

Yes, once again we know it feels good, but you have to be considerate about it. She’s not likely to be a deep throat expert, and there’s no reason why she should be, since most of the pleasure of oral sex comes from the action of her tongue on your glans. Keep your hands away from her head unless it’s to gently stroke her hair, and you won’t feel the temptation to encourage her to go deeper.

29) Holding her head when she goes down on you

Pretty similar to number 28, but this time, holding her head and moving it up and down on your penis is the no-no. If you think that’s acceptable sexual etiquette you’ve been watching too many of the wrong kind of films.

30) Coming in her mouth without asking her if it’s OK

The taste of semen is very much an acquired taste; unfortunately it’s one that few woman ever acquire. If she doesn’t like it, ask her to keep going until the last minute, then tell her when you’re going to come so she can move back and finish the job with a well-lubed hand. You’ll get just as much pleasure, and she won’t have to gag or spit your semen out. By the way, accidentally forgetting to tell her you’re going to come is not permitted.

31) Thinking that a porno movie has anything to do with real life

Porn is not good for men’s egos. Real life isn’t like that, OK?

32) Switching on a hard core porn film without asking whether that’s OK with her

Even if you find it arousing, she’s not likely to, for the simple reason that much of the porn available today is fairly abusive to women. Ask her first, and if you want to share the erotic thrill of watching people have sex, get hold of some romantic sex movies that will appeal to her emotions as well as her sex drive.

33) Apologizing for the size of your penis

Just in case you ever feel inclined to apologize for not matching up to the guys in the wrong kind of movies, just remember: 98% of women would rather have a sensitive lover than one with a big penis. If you’re with one of the other two percent, you need to find a new lover.

34) Answering honestly when she asks you what your last lover was like

Guys, when a woman asks you if her butt is too big, do you tell her the truth? Enough said. Your current lover is always the most gorgeous, sexy and desirable woman around. Even if she doesn’t really believe it, that’s what she wants to hear.

35) Asking her if she’d mind if her girlfriend joined you

Threesomes can be exciting, but they usually just cause jealousy and upset when one partner unexpectedly finds they don’t want their partner making out with another person. Needless to say, this usually happens to the woman. So be sure, be very sure, you know what you’re doing before you try this one.

36) Making her do all the work

Changing positions is all very well, but asking her to ride you each time you have sex seems a bit one sided. Vary the positions, have fun, and take equal shares of the work. Don’t just settle for one favorite position and flog it to death.

37) Trying to slip it in the back door by “accident”

Anal sex is something that a lot fewer couples have tried than you’d believe from what you read on the internet or see in porn. It’s something you might like to try, but you both have to want to do it. She’s not likely to respond with warmth if you keep pretending you’re poking her anus by accident. And she won’t believe you if you tell her you just didn’t want to ask for directions, even if that’s how you are when you’re driving around lost, looking for somewhere.

38) Photographing or videoing your lovemaking

Unfortunately, as many jilted lovers can testify, taking pictures while you enjoy sex is putting power in the hands of the person who has the pictures. A good compromise is to link your video camera direct to your TV without recording the images. That way you can have the erotic thrill of seeing yourself during sex without having to worry about seeing yourself having sex on the internet in a few years’ time.

39) Getting into the same old same old routine every time you have sex

Above almost everything else (except possibly being deeply in love), ringing the changes when you make love is the thing that will keep your sex life fresh and passionate. You’ll be surprised just how exciting it can be when you try a new position. This is simply because every position puts a different pressure on the penis and vagina, or gives you a new perspective of your partner’s body, or perhaps allows you to see entering your partner’s body, and so on. Exactly which sex position feels most pleasurable will depend on the shape and size and shape of your penis and her vagina.

40) Not romancing her

Women love romance. Men put up with it, or do it to get sex. True or false? Probably true, but the romantic “chase” is deeply rewarding for most men (i.e. seducing and winning a woman makes us feel deeply fulfilled), and romance is an essential part of that process. If you’re able to continue being romantic once you’re an established couple, then you set yourself head and shoulders above the rest of your fellow men, and you stand that much greater chance of getting regular, passionate sex.

41) Slapping her buttocks without checking if she’s into a little dominance play

No mater how exciting you may find the idea, don’t land a heavy slap on her butt without trying a few lighter ones first and seeing how she reacts. If you do, you may get a slap in the face. Or a kick in the balls.

42) Trying to do sex by the book (or the film)

Don’t copy the moves you see in porn films. They lack a certain something. Consideration for the woman, that would be.

43) Playing with her anus before she’s excited enough to appreciate it

When you’re masturbating her clitoris, and you have a finger inside her vagina, you may find that she responds well to a little anal play. If you have the position right, you can use your little finger to tickle gently at her anus as your forefinger plays with her G-spot. This may well add to her excitement – especially if she’s on the verge of orgasm. If you try this before she’s really excited and has stopped caring what’s happening to her, you might just turn her off completely, so it might not be a bad idea to check it out with her in advance.

44) Deafening her by shouting in her ear when you come

An easy mistake to make, especially if you like to have sex in the man on top position lying close to your partner, and you like to let the world know when you come. Unfortunately she won’t let you do it a second time, so bury your face in the pillow or something if you’re prone to uncontrollable vocal ejaculations as well as physical ones.

45) Talking dirty without checking if she likes it

Generally a little consensual dirty talk between adults adds to the excitement. The first time your partner tells you to f*** her hot wet c*** you’ll see what I mean. If that hasn’t happened yet, and you’d like it to, encourage her to talk dirty to you when you’re making love, and see what pops out of her mouth. You might be surprised. Remember legend has it that the quiet ones are often the most surprising in bed!

46) Lying on top of her without supporting your weight on your arms

Always remember: a gentleman takes his weight on his arms. Or elbows, or knees, or something.

47) Ejaculating on her without asking permission

Coming between her breasts or on her vulva or bottom can be incredibly exciting, but it’s nice to ask her first. She may see it less a mark of your ejaculatory prowess or manhood than a mess to clear up.

48) Not controlling your ejaculation

Like we said before, a good lover makes the effort to make sure his partner is satisfied before he is.

49) Not spending some time with her in your arms after sex

A man who gets up after he’s done the business and sets about his daily routine is probably top of most women’s sexual dislikes. For her, this is a special time when a woman feels very close to her partner. She takes much longer to come down from sex than a man does, she wants to know she’s loved and special, and she wants to feel adored by the man to whom she has just given her most precious asset. The very least you can do is to spend a half hour or so cuddling her while you relax after making love, even if you’re not going to spend the night with her.

50) Not cleaning up after sex

And since sex inevitably involves a certain amount of fluids, keep the tissues handy for afterwards. If you feel like being chivalrous, offer her a warm towel to clean herself, especially if you aren’t using condoms.

There you go! And if you’ve got any more sexual tips for sexual success, send them to us at the email address in the box below.

About The Author

Rod Phillips is an online sexual counselor at Sex and Relationships – http://www.sex-and-relationships.com/index.html , Send your sex tips to tips@sex-and-relationships.com , For more information on controlling your ejaculation, see: End Premature Ejaculation Now! – http://www.end-premature-ejaculation-now.com/index.html.

2. All women love to feel fresh and clean before sex… plus, she might be self-conscious because she hasn’t showered in a couple of hours. I would suggest you asking her if she would like to take a shower with you.

3. Kiss her gently. Use your tongue to explore new places on her body, slowly and deliberately, making some “Mmm…” noises, letting her know that you realy enjoy it.

4. Move down to her genitals and start with kissing and licking, then a couple of minutes later insert one finger. If you can see that she likes that, ask if she would like two fingers. Go slow. Stimulate her G Spot.

 5. There are few techniques you can do with your mouth: licking up and down, side to side, in circles, directly on her clit, around it and sucking. While licking her clit stimulate her vagina with your fingers by: Sliding in and out, staying still, rubbing top or bottom or sides, rubbing a spot inside, slow, fast.

  6. Try different mouth and finger variations until you find the combination that she likes the best.

 7. Once you find that combination, keep doing it Exactly that way, at Exactly that speed and pressure. Men like faster and harder, women usually like the same way until orgasm.

If you do everything right, she will usually want to reciprocate. Now it’s your time to relax and enjoy…

Not only do orgasms relax you completely and give you a small window of respite from the distractions of daily life, but they also affect a woman’s hormones in a positive way. According to Gordon Gallup, a psychology professor at the State University of New York, women may actually get powerful mood-boosting effects from sex.

A hormone found in semen, prostaglandin E1, is absorbed through the vaginal walls and may have an antidepressant effect. In his study, he found that the women who had regular unprotected sex actually reported being happier than women who had protected sex or no sex at all. Though the research was inconclusive and certainly should not be used to argue for unprotected sex (which increases the risk of STDs and pregnancy), it has opened up a wide field of study on the effect of sex on mood.

2. Improved muscle tone.

Not only does the act of sex itself burn calories (150 per half hour) and strengthen the abdominal and core muscles, but the muscle contractions that accompany orgasms are excellent exercise. Orgasms are great for the cardiovascular system, due to the increase in blood flow and deep breathing. In fact, during sex, your heart rate increases to 150 beats per minute, putting it squarely in your cardio zone. Sex clearly belongs as part of a healthy exercise routine!

3. Control appetite.

Regular orgasms can help you lose weight by burning calories and regulating your appetite. Sexual stimulation triggers the production of a natural amphetamine called phenetylamine, which helps control your appetite so that you don’t give into junk food cravings.

4. Better sleep.

After orgasm, your blood pressure drops, and you feel complete relaxation along with the euphoria of endorphins, allowing you to coast naturally into a sound sleep. The relaxation benefits are so powerful that some even consider sex a “natural tranquilizer.”

5. A better sense of smell.

This is one fact about sex that few people are aware of. Sex stimulates the production of a hormone called prolactin. This hormone creates an improved sense of smell by causing new neurons to develop in the brain’s “smell center.” Smell is related to sexual desire in a number of ways: pheromones are considered to attract members of the opposite sex, and researchers have even suggested that people can “smell” when a partner is a good genetic match.

6. A stronger immune system.

If you want to stave off sickness, lower your risk of heart disease, and boost your immune system, have sex at least three times a week. The link between sex and a reduced risk of heart attack or stroke has been well documented. Sex offers many other medical benefits. Right before orgasm, the level of a hormone called DHEA spikes. DHEA is a “wonder hormone” which is essential to a variety of healthy body functions. Studies have also found that regular sexual activity increases levels of immunoglobulin A—an antibody that boosts the immune system—by a third. If you have a cold but can’t make it to the drug store, then the adrenaline released during sex can act as a natural antihistamine.

7. Regular menstrual cycle.

Having sex at least once a week not just normalizes a woman’s menstrual cycle, it also increases her estrogen levels. Estrogen increases her good cholesterol and decreases her bad cholesterol, in addition to protecting against osteoporosis.

8. Pain relief.

Orgasms have been proven to provide powerful relief for migraine headaches, arthritis, even whiplash! That’s because orgasm releases endorphins which act as natural opiates, giving you a higher pain threshold. (And sex is a great cure for menstrual cramps as well!)

9. Longer life.

A study of 1000 middle-aged men in Britain found that those who had at least two orgasms a week had less than half the death rate over the next ten years of those who reported fewer orgasms. Does sex increase your lifespan? It’s certainly doesn’t help to try! Your partner will be happy to know that sex can actually make you look younger, too.

A Scottish study found that sex four to five times a week can make you look 10 years younger than someone who has sex only twice a week. This may be due to the hormones (testosterone for men, estrogen for women) released during sex.

10. A stronger relationship.

Best of all, sex cements the bond between two people in a relationship. Levels of a hormone called oxytocin surge three to five times higher than normal just before orgasm. Oxytocin, which also helps release endorphins, is called the “bonding hormone,” which may explain why partners feel so connected during sex.

Any health, loving and lasting relationship counts a great sex life as a key ingredient. And if you look around you, it’s probably not hard to tell which couples are truly happy with each other. These are the couples that still look at each other with lust in their eyes! So what’s their secret? It’s probably because they are BOTH sexually satisfied in their relationship.

A lot of people know that women don’t reach an orgasm as easily or as quickly as men. What many don’t realize is that this does nothing but build sexual frustration. And sexual frustration manifests itself in many negative ways in a relationship; until one day, you both wake up and realize that you no longer have passion in each other and in your lives.

The good news is it’s really not hard at all to make a woman reach an orgasm. But you both have to work at it, which, if you think about it, is part of the fun as well!

 How to Make Her ‘Come’ – A Step-by-Step Guide

You may find this step-by-step guide useful. It is one of the many tools that Gabrielle Moore, an expert on sex education has created. Click here to learn more about other tools by visiting her website…

Step 1

Engage in a lot of foreplay! Foreplay is very important because it helps her relax her mind and make her more focused on the lovemaking at hand. It’s also a great way to bond as many women associate foreplay as a man’s way of taking time and ensuring sex is not just a physical act but about intimacy.

 Foreplay can start hours or even days in advance and is really limited only by your sexual imagination. As you keep this ‘sexual tension’ high, you’ll find that it’s actually easier to bring her to an orgasm once you do engage in sex.

 Step 2

 If foreplay is the ‘primer’, oral sex is the next big step. Many women actually claim that oral sex is the ONLY way they can reach an orgasm so if you both want it to be that way, then don’t resist.

When you do go down on her, don’t rush it. Show her that you really love her by lavishing her genitals with your undivided attention. Enjoy the journey as much as the destination so to speak.

 At the start, just tease and lick softly and lovingly. Once she’s focused on that part of her body, increase the tempo. When you notice that her breathing is getting faster and harder or if her legs are becoming taut, move your attention to her clitoris. Tease it by drawing small circles around it with your tongue and then apply more pressure and lick faster.

If she gives any indication at all that she’s really turned on, remember this: DON’T change anything. Keep the tempo of what you’re doing and she’ll reach her orgasm soon enough.

Step 3

If your tongue doesn’t bring her to an immediate orgasm, don’t despair. Don’t forget that your fingers can be put to good use too! Use your index finger to ‘trace’ the outline of her labia. Be sure to touch her gently. This is guaranteed to electrify her body. After this, place your index and middle finger together and then draw circles around her clitoris.

Pay attention to her body (is it in a pleasured, relaxed state or is it pulled taut like a string?) to gauge just how turned on she is. Don’t forget to pay attention to her moans and groans as well.

 You can alternate using your tongue and fingers to stimulate her clitoris and just like what’s advised above, if she indicates something that’s really turning her on, just keep doing it! To learn more about other techniques to stimulate her, click here…

 Step 4

 If clitoral stimulation has not brought on an orgasm yet, then try G-spot stimulation! Assuming that she’s already hot and wet, slowly insert your index and middle finger inside her womanhood, palm up. Once inside, position your fingers to the “11 o’clock”. Slowly try and locate a small bump or swelling (like an engorged clitoris). Once you find this spot, congratulations… you’ve located the elusive G-spot!

  Step 5

 You can stimulate the G-spot in many ways. You can tap it with your fingers, draw lazy or frenzied circles around it, or flick it wildly like a light switch. If you wish, you can use your thumb to stimulate her clitoris while stimulating her G-spot. This will surely give her an orgasm to be remembered! To learn more, click here…