After spending the last ten years or so studying psychology and behavior, I’ve come to the opinion that MOST of our desires, drives, preferences, strengths, weaknesses, behaviors, and personality traits are determined by our DNA and some by our social conditioning. I’m talking about both men and women here.

Even differences like whether a person prefers adventure or couch riding are largely a matter of programming from birth (If you really disagree with me on this one, read some books on the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator or try the book Who Am I? by Steven Reiss.)

In any event, HOWEVER they got to be interested in these common things, most women have a few main interests, needs, desires, or whatever you want to call them when it comes to men, relationships, and romance.

Have you ever read the personals? Have you ever noticed how many women say things like “princess looking for prince”, “friends first”, and “looking for my soulmate”? Have you ever noticed how almost NO men ever say these things?

What’s going on?

Have you ever listened to a group of women talking about men? Ever notice how they speak largely in some kind of code language and constantly make a big deal out of tiny details that seem totally irrelevant? Have you ever noticed, on the other hand, how men are direct with each other and have no interest in bickering over small things?

What’s going on?

Have you ever noticed how many women are attracted to drama? Here’s my take on this whole subject: Women are playing out a role that hasn’t changed for thousands (or millions?) of years. These days the language and clothing are different. But it’s the same that it’s always been.

There are many parts of human brains that create drives and desires for different things. Often, these drives conflict with each other. For instance, a woman might want a strong man in her life, but she might also want a feeling of independence. She might want to have attention, but she might also want to be seen as above needing it. (Men have these types of conflicts as well, but in different areas.)

So, for example, I hear a lot of men saying things like, “I hate all the drama that women create. Why do they create this stuff?” My answer: Drama accomplishes a lot of things at once. It gets attention, it sends emotions through the body (emotions are highly addictive chemicals), it’s a way to be self-righteous, it’s often fun, it’s interesting and prevents boredom, it gives things meaning… and on and on. There are a lot of good reasons for drama. But most men can’t understand because drama fulfills needs that MOST MEN DON’T HAVE.

It’s like women saying, “I hate it when all a guy can talk about is sports.” What needs to sports fulfill for men? Competition, adrenaline, power, domination… all the typical guy stuff. Incidentally, stuff that fulfills needs that most women just plain don’t have.

http://www.DoubleYourDating.com

You are a guy who knows how to date, you are a guy who hasn’t dated in years, you are a guy who has never been successful with women. Whatever your situation there are some common dating rules to follow when venturing into the dating jungle. These rules are simply to protect your emotional state and to ensure even handed success. Women are trained from day one in the art of dating warfare. They have a physical and emotional arsenal that you may never hope to match. But don’t be outgunned, be prepared my friends as the dating battle isn’t over yet buddy.

1. Look your best. Get some decent clothes and shoes. Women always look at your shoes even if the last time you checked your Nike’s out was 1996. Get clothes that fit you, suit you and are contemporary. Don’t just buy one outfit, sort out your entire wardrobe. If you can’t take care of yourself, how are you going to take care of her? Oh yes and buy a good well tailored suit, there is no excuse not to.

2. Get your hygiene and styling sorted out. Down to the barbers and sort out your hair, get a decent style if possible. If you don’t have much hair still get down to the salon and either get your head shaved or something you can handle. Then it is off to the shops with you for good quality cologne and a grooming kit. Yes that means some expense. Men are so often criticized for smelling bad. Get into a regular showering routine and smell good always. Women appreciate it.

3. Sort out your job if you have one. Women want a man who has some ambition in life so coasting along as a skateboard instructor is generally not going to win you a real catch (by the way I love skateboarding!). Any job is better than none, but knuckle down and sort out some direction in your life. Change job if need be but at least try and look like you you have something of a career. If you have a manual job, at least have some plans to work for yourself. If you already do, then you are on the right track but know what you are about work wise and have some idea of your future because they will be asking questions about your prospects even if they pretend it isn’t important. It is.

4. Get your knowledge levels up. Make sure you are up to date with current affairs, watch the news and read quality papers. Women do not appreciate stupidity and laziness is no excuse either. Current affairs are important in showing you know all about the world outside. If you travel a lot then this will help tremendously, if you don’t have plans to travel, get some. Being able and willing to sort out vacations is essential in the grand scheme of things.

5. Do not extol the virtues of drinking in the bar 5 nights a week. This will never win any fair princess’s heart. If you love your booze sort yourself out as there are other things in life too. Taking your lady for a drink is fine, but give them the impression that you live in there will get you absolutely nowhere - fast.

6. If you love your sport then fine,. If sport is a religion you may have a problem but everything by degrees guys. If you are serious about dating then ramming the subject of soccer, ball games or football down your date’s throat will put them off in record time. Sport to the uninitiated is completely boring and shows not only sheep mentality to a woman but lack of thought, creativity or inspiration. Millions of girls love sport too and that is fine but don’t make your passion into a one-sided one.

9. Never expect sex on a first date. If all you are after is sex you have come to the wrong place for reading material. If you are looking for the girl of your dreams there is nothing more sexy than a patient man. You are easily capable of waiting for the right woman so do it instead of thinking with your balls.

10. Sort out your educational knowledge of manners, courtesy and chivalry. A woman likes being treated well, particularly with respect. Lose the coarse language, the swear words, the rudeness and the laziness. Know how to eat in a top restaurant, know about fashion and jewelry and in particular flowers. Know how to hold a door open for a woman, let her go first and help her with her seat. Listen to what she says but have opinions of your own too. Show her respect and manners at every step and you should not go wrong.

11. Start listening and stop talking. Keep your date interested but don’t turn into a one man entertainer. She will bore of you quickly because she wants to talk about herself too. Listen to things she tells you about her and remember them. Women love to chat so you need to learn to listen to her. Remembering things she told you will impress her by the bucketful. Fact.

12. Give up smoking now.

13. Lean to dance even if you have two left flat feet. Women love to dance and dancing is a physical contact sport (or can be). It is also romantic and sexy. You can be the world’s worst dancer, I don’t care. But if you stay seated when she is on that dance floor you may as well not exist. If you can join Salsa and dancing classes all the better. You don’t need to be Travolta but you should have an idea of the basics of rhythm. Get started today.

Dating is an issue for men and women of any age, but for women over forty it can be especially daunting. At midlife, relationships are more complicated by children and career than they are when those in their twenties date. Hence, dating tips for women over 40 can be very much in demand.

A popular choice for over 40 singles is the concept of on line dating. Chat rooms and dating websites exist limited to those over 40 or at least specializing in them. A good dating website is a real jewel. There, at least, there is no issue of revealing your age and being rejected outright since both parties are of that age or better.

Chat rooms are a good introduction to over 40 relationships before dating ever occurs. You can often get a good sense of someone from chats or instant messages one to one. Of course, there is always the potential for deception and a person should be very cautious in giving out personal or identifiable information to strangers. This is why using a membership site may be preferable.

In a membership site, a fee is charged to join and this helps to weed out some of the less than serious pranksters. There are also requirements such as screening questionnaires and the requirement of a credit card. While this gives a bit more confidence, caution is always best. If you meet, arrange for a public place and bring a friend.

Other dating tips for women over 40 include networking with friends and family to meet other eligible singles. Most people know someone who loves matchmaking and many people are good at it. Such dates are also a bit safer since the matchmaker actually knows the person and something of their character.

Another of the dating tips for women over 40 is what is called speed dating. There are speed dating parties just for middle aged participants so the playing field is more level that in general audience speed dating. You meet a lot of people in a short time and indicate who you would like to date. The men do the same thing and you are told of any matches and take it from there.

Traditional ways of meeting people such as religious gatherings and clubs are also among the ways over 40 women can meet people. These tend to be people with similar lifestyles and interests who are likely to get along and have common goals. Singles vacations and cruises are another possibility, as are meetings of Parents Without Partners if you have kids.

Kids are definitely an issue for many if not most women over 40 and they complicate dating. It is usually best not to get the date and the kids together until you have gotten to know each other as people, not parents. Kids can become attached and if you introduce them too early in a relationship, a break up may be traumatic for the kids.

http://toptendatingservices.com

I’m going to start off this whole shebang by giving you my take on women in general.

I know, I know. Every woman is a unique creature. But women have more commonalties than they have differences. So let’s start with what I think they have in common and then we’ll move on to how they differ. (The ideas that I’m about to share with you here are from my own research, testing in the real world, and personal analysis.)

Read the rest of this entry »

Since the advent of time, man has always sought companionship. It could range from something as platonic as a close friendship to a deep and lasting marriage with shared responsibilities such as children. For every person, the question that always comes up is “where can I find that special someone? How”?

However, finding that special someone is not as simple as it seems.
Each person’s uniqueness and idiosyncrasies, although bringing color and
vibrancy in a relationship, brings risks. But these risks depend on
the expectations on relationships, on one’s knowledge on issues that
could arise, and on a greater great degree, on social skills.

We try to limit the risks by seeking out our special someone from our
own race, our own country or our own religion. We go to places where we
could probably find people with the same sexual preferences as we have.
We seek out friends who may have friends or acquaintances who we could
meet.

However, there are some of us who would like something different.
There are some of us who are risk-takers, who have the attitude of
conquering the world and everything it could offer. There are those of us who
are daring, who want something exciting and maybe forbidden. We would
like to take the risks yet limit its consequences.

Although the need for companionship has not changed, there is one
thing that has - TIME. As cities continue to modernize and become more
efficient, more and more companies have organizational structures that
limit physical access to other people. We get tied to a job in an office
cubicle whose only link to the outside world is the internet through a
computer. The time we have to develop and nurture relationships “face to
face” has become extremely limited.

We don’t have the time to go courting as our parents or grandparents
did in the olden times. The matchmaking aunts and relatives that they
had then are virtually extinct as we live our usually solitary lives in
our city apartments. Our human “face to face” inter-actions are now
limited to a few officemates and a great number of nameless faces we see
as we walk through the streets to and from work.

But companionship is a basic human need. We seek to find our match
yet lack the time to do so. We want to keep in touch with our roots and
establish links thru relationships yet lack the time to do so. We want
to find our “soul mates”, the person who shares our inner most beliefs,
but are limited again by time and for others, space as they spend their
lives in 9 to 5 jobs in an office cubicle.

But there is hope. The internet frightening though it seems, with its
non-physical characteristic except for the usual PC or laptop, opens to
us a gateway. It links us to a vast resource of people seeking out
people.

The internet introduces to us the concept of on-line dating. This
phenomenon allows us to get to know people, screen them and size them up in
an almost risk-free venue. We could go from one relational level to
the next with ease and cut off right away if it gets too close. All
these can happen with just a PC and a laptop on hand.

Now all we need is the skill, the know-how and the right organization
to get what all of us need from dating that the internet could offer.
If only we could find the link of all links what could link us with our
ultimate “soul-mate”, we shall look at our PC or laptop as the gateway
to that source of joy and excitement. But the link has to be there or
we would be wasting the one precious commodity that we can’t afford to
waste – TIME.

http://www.DiscoverDating.info