When Dating is at Standstill Status
A different situation from when your dating experience may be losing interest, is
when it’s stationary, meaning that things aren’t progressing, they don’t seem to be going
anywhere. In that situation, dating is still going on but it isn’t flourishing. That type of
standstill status can be frustrating because while it may seem like the dating situation is
promising, there isn’t any progress being made in the relationship or bond with your date.
Your dating relationship is at a standstill if you have been dating frequently but
there is no commitment between both of you. When that’s the case, it means there are
times when the thought may have occurred to you that there could be someone else. In
the early stages of dating, the idea of your date seeing someone else may not have been
farfetched. But if you have been seeing each other for a regular and consistent time
period, then it would follow that a commitment would be expected.
If you are beginning to have a feeling of dissatisfaction because the dating process
is going on and on and you aren’t happy with the status of the relationship, then it’s an
indicator of being at a standstill. Either you or your date will need to directly voice the
opinion that the issue has to be discussed so you both can feel that your dates are
worthwhile and satisfying.
Another indicator that your dating relationship may also be at a standstill is if
there are times when your date is just not around and you don’t know what has happened
or where to find the person. If your date doesn’t think it necessary to inform you of their
whereabouts, then it means you aren’t very important or special. It also means that your
date doesn’t respect you enough to be concerned about the impact on you of not
maintaining contact, even if it’s temporary.
Any type of relationship or friendship that lacks respect is not one that is worth
fighting to maintain. So if your date has unexplained absences from time to time you may
need to be the one to bring up the issue about how things are progressing and if it’s worth
continuing.
Before you may attempt to address what you think is a standstill issue, you may also test
the status of how things really are and try to see what your date really thinks by trying to
get closer to him or her. You can do this by simple, thoughtful actions such as sending an
unexpected surprise gift, a nice greeting card or by a physical action such as holding
hands more, hugging or snuggling when you are together.
If your date’s reaction is one of warmth and appreciation, then it could be quite
likely that he or she is interested in having a closer relationship. But if the reception is
cold and stoic, with your date not showing any emotion of joy or happiness so that you
feel a bit rejected or that you are being pushed away, then it likely means that your dates
aren’t going to progress beyond the current status.
Another indicator of your dates being at a standstill is if there is some
defensiveness on the part of your date. If he or she is hesitant to have you at their
apartment or for you to spend a weekend at either place, then there also isn’t much
interest of both of you taking dating bond and friendship to another level.
A similar situation is also one in which your date seems a bit secretive. In those
situations, your date doesn’t have phone conversations in your presence. They may move
away so that you can’t hear the conversation or end the call quickly.
You have to know and decide what you want from dating experience. If you are
happy to just be going out and have some socialization, then you won’t have the view
that dating may be at a standstill. But if you are seeking to develop a close bond with
someone for a long-term relationship, then you will have to take some action when there
doesn’t seem to be progress toward that goal.
